Tuesday, 20 November 2018

Aches, ageing and a celebrity personal appearance in the garden


After many months prolonging the fact an engagement party tends to follow an engagement, William and I finally got our act together this month and invited people round. 

Gifts were given, drinks were drunk and we found the perfect solution to ensure all focus would not be on us during our back garden get together as we have a mutual dislike of attention.

By booking the most controversial Australian reality television star I have in my phone book for a personal appearance. 



In the midst of people celebrating our love, we thankfully managed to skip doing any soppy speeches of our own as our home became a bizarre, and slightly enforced, one man meet and greet.

Older relatives had no idea who our VIP was, younger friends enjoyed the novelty of a virtual villain stood before them and William and I smiled as our lives endured a tabloid worthy clash.

Alongside our minor celebrity, it also helped having a dog dressed up with a ribbon roaming round and an adorable baby nephew appealing to all in attendance.

The holy trinity of attention gravitating guests at any function while the hosts happily hide.






Away from our garden based gathering, these past months have mainly been focused around camping trips with Winston the dog, a couple of weddings and my own failing health.

It's rather ironic that after 20 plus years of living completely fearless, unphased by consequence and being annoyingly reckless, that the moment I have something to cherish, my body starts to shut down.

'Able bodied, but no longer able to do, the things in this life I'd planned for me and you.

As I grow taller, the world grows smaller, crippled by the realities I struggle to see through'.

I wrote those poetic words recently after an appointment where I paid for the pleasure of a professional practitioner to tell me the things I am not capable of doing. Things I already knew, but things I'd still push myself through while enduring the pain. 








In the grand scale of life, it's hardly the most harrowing of things to be told you can no longer train a certain way, that rest periods must be greater and my body now comes with a growing list of restrictions.

But it is certainly a reminder to me, and now you, that age creeps up sooner than you think in one way or another.

Aches last longer, hangovers hang around for days and before you know it, you're no longer able to bounce out of bed after a big night. 





There's an old saying I've always enjoyed: At some point your mum picked you up, put you down and never picked you up again.

Now, along those lines but even more depressing is the fact that at one point in your life you drank all night, danced until day broke and then went about your business as fresh as a daisy without even realising it was the very last time you'd do so.

Maybe you've already enjoyed your final all night sesh and haven't even realised so you will never endure another?   

There was also a time you rolled in the mud at a festival without fearing the clothes wash afterwards.

A time you stayed out on a week night and weren't scared of snoozing in work the next day.

A time you could operate on four hours of sleep, eat what you wanted without it showing and live on a whim while soildering through every adventure you throw yourself into.  



I type this as a man closer to 30 than 20 and a man who spends his disposable income on things like physiotherapy before fun.

Also a man that fears he may one day struggle to keep up with the children he dreams of having.

This isn't a memo to provoke ill-deserving sympathy, but more a post to remind you to have the fucking time of your life while you physically can.

Because the second your abilities lag behind your sense of adventure and logic comes before the luck of life, restrictions are set and you're forced to slow yourself down.

Wether ya want to or not.



To give this a less depressing end, Willaim and I would like to express our thanks for everybody that attended our party, pitched in with food and baking, brought gifts and gave us all the love.

Also congruations to both Sarah and Andy, and Emily and Ryan on your recent big days.

And lastly, thank you to Married At First Sight's pint-sized, sexually fluid, famously-always-feuding-with-someone, breakout star Nasser Sultan for kindly donating his time to stand in our garden.